New parent therapy at Here & Now Psychology helps adults, including new fathers specifically, move through one of life's biggest transitions without losing themselves in the process. Whether you're expecting, newly postpartum, or a few years into parenthood and still trying to find your footing, I work with adults across California via telehealth, using an approach rooted in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
Becoming a parent gets celebrated constantly and supported rarely. Everyone asks about the baby. Almost nobody asks how you're actually doing, whether you're sleeping, whether you recognize yourself, whether the identity you built over the decades is still intact underneath the diaper bag and the 3am feedings.
For mothers, the expectation is often that you'll feel instantly and endlessly in love, and that any exhaustion, ambivalence, or grief for your old life should stay quiet and private. For fathers, the assumption is often that you'll adjust quietly in the background while the spotlight stays on the baby and the mother. That assumption leaves a lot of real feelings with nowhere to go.
None of this means something is wrong with you. It means you're going through one of the most disorienting changes a person can go through, usually with less sleep, less time, and less patience than any other major life transition gets.
Trying to reconcile who you were before kids with who you are now, and grieving pieces of the old version of yourself even while you love the life you're building. Learning how to build a life still consistent with the person you were before becoming a parent while adjusting to the realities of the new world of responsibility you've entered.
The dower, heaviness that does not lift even in moments that "should" feel good. The feeling like nothing is the same and won't ever improve. Intrusive worries that take over and infiltrate your life, to the point of affecting your relationships and questioning your sanity. Postpartum depression and anxiety are dimensionally separate from the general stress of adjusting to having a newborn. It's a serious condition that could greatly benefit from therapy and treatment.
Constant vigilance about whether you're doing it right. Researching every decision, from sleep training to screen time, and still not feeling settled. Catastrophic what-ifs about your child's safety or development that are hard to switch off. Maybe you've always been a worrier. Maybe this is the most anxious you've ever been because the stakes have never been higher. Either way, the vigilance can end up costing you the very presence you're trying so hard to protect.
The division of labor that somehow always tilts one direction. Resentment that builds in small moments and never gets said out loud. Missing your partner even though they're right there, because the version of your relationship that existed before kids feels like it's on hold, or may never return.
There's often no script for what you're allowed to feel, and few places to say it out loud without it sounding like complaining about something you're supposed to be grateful for. Men aren't the only ones being challenged during this transition, but may not find adequate space to talk about their unique experience. (This is also the focus of the Dads Huddle, a support group for fathers I run alongside individual therapy.)
We start with what your week actually looks like right now, not the version you think you're supposed to have. From there, the work is to better recognize when your mind is telling you to become a "better" parent by some quantifiable checklist, and how to instead focus on finding your own footing: what you actually value in how you want to show up for your family. If the pressure you're feeling is more tied to your career and provider identity than to parenting itself, work stress and burnout may be a factor as well.
I'm a father of two, so a lot of what comes up in this work is familiar to me on a personal level, not just a clinical one. There's no formula that makes this transition smooth, and I won't pretend otherwise. I can offer you a space to say the parts out loud that don't fit neatly into the "parenthood is magical!" mindset everyone expects to have once their child is born: the exhaustion, the resentment, the moments of not liking this very much, right alongside how much you love your kid and the moments of true wonder that are starting to fill your days. Both things can be true at once. Most of the work is learning to make space for both.
You can read more about how I approach therapy generally on my about page.
New or expecting parents who feel like the transition is bigger than anyone warned them about. Parents a few years in who still haven't found solid ground. Dads especially who've noticed there isn't much space made for what they're going through. Anyone who loves their kid and is also having a harder time than expected, and wants somewhere honest to bring both.
Schedule a free 20-minute consultation. No pressure, no commitment. Just a conversation.
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